How to Know if Your Child is Stressed During Exams - and What to Say

By Dr. Chandra Sekhar Bondugula — Founder, Mynaa AI
A calm, practical guide for the Indian parent who can feel that something is wrong during exam season but is not sure what to look for, what to say, or when to worry.

The pressure you may not be able to see

Exam season in an Indian home has a particular weather to it. The house goes quiet, the lights stay on late, and a child you know to be cheerful becomes someone you recognise a little less each week. Most of this is ordinary, and most children come through it. But some of that weight is heavier than it looks, and a parent is very often the first person who could notice — if they know what to look for.

The warning signs worth noticing

Stress shows itself in the body, the mood and the routine long before a child puts it into words. Watch, gently, for clusters of the following rather than any single item:

Sleep and appetite changes — sleeping far too little or too much; skipping meals or eating erratically.
Physical complaints with no clear cause — recurring headaches, stomach aches, fatigue, especially on the morning of a test.
Withdrawal — pulling away from friends, family conversation, hobbies and the things that used to bring relief.
Irritability or tearfulness — a shorter fuse than usual, or crying that seems out of proportion.
Harsh self-talk — “I’m useless”, “there’s no point”, “I’ll never get it”.
Loss of concentration — reading the same page repeatedly, or studying for hours with nothing to show for it, which feeds a spiral of guilt.

What to say — and what to avoid

Parents often want to help and reach, with love, for exactly the wrong sentence. A few small shifts make an enormous difference.

Try saying: “Whatever happens in this exam, it does not change what I think of you.” “You seem tired — do you want to talk, or would you rather I just sit with you?” “What would actually help you right now?” These open a door without forcing your child through it.

Try to avoid: comparisons with siblings, cousins or neighbours’ children; “in my time we studied much harder”; reciting the consequences of failure; and the well-meant but crushing “just don’t take stress”, which only adds the stress of having failed to not be stressed.

The single most useful thing you can offer is not advice. It is the steady message that your love is not a prize for marks — that they are safe with you whatever the result.

Small things that genuinely help

Protect sleep, even at the cost of one more hour of revision — a rested brain remembers more. Keep meals and short breaks regular. Encourage a daily walk or any movement. Lower the temperature of the house: fewer questions about how preparation is going, more ordinary, warm conversation about anything else. And let your child see you treat one exam as one exam, not as a verdict on their future.

When ordinary stress becomes something more

Most exam stress eases once the papers are over. Pay closer attention if the signs are severe, last more than a couple of weeks, or persist after exams end; if your child withdraws almost completely; or — most importantly — if they ever express hopelessness or any thought that life is not worth living. Talk about wanting to die, giving away belongings, or saying goodbye is never to be dismissed as drama. Stay calm, stay close, and seek professional help the same day.

India now has free, confidential, round-the-clock support that you or your child can reach immediately. Tele-MANAS (the Government of India’s national service) is available on 14416 or 1800-891-4416, and KIRAN on 1800-599-0019. A fuller list is in our guide to free mental-health helplines in India.

A doctor in their pocket

One reason I built Mynaa is that the hardest moments rarely arrive at counselling-room hours. They arrive at two in the morning, in a language a child thinks in but may not write in, when they cannot bring themselves to knock on a parent’s door. Mynaa gives a student a safe, confidential, multilingual companion at exactly those hours — one that listens, helps them cope, and, if it ever senses real danger, gently connects them to a human being who can act.

— Dr. Chandra Sekhar Bondugula
Founder, Mynaa AI